It felt like the only thing we can take with us when leaving our country is our culture, and some spices as well. I thought with my culture, I can live anywhere. I didn’t realize it wasn’t just art, clothes and books. Slowly I brought pieces from my mom’s home. I started looking for vintage ships like the ones my dad had. I wasn’t a floral accent until I went Meirda in Mexico and started to cry to move our of the US and live in Egypt. I slowly turned my home into my family’s. I am still 13 hours flight away. My friends will always be there. The sea food can never be here.

I wounder if now I will ever feel the need to change something, or something is missing. I wounder if home now is just warm enough to feel like home? I might need a floral satin silk robe like the ones my mom’s have.

Getting the fluffy boy this summer made our “Weekend Life” more green and full of delicious snacks. The vintage cotton sarong made the Fort Greene picnic even more Brooklyn. Every Saturday morning we would walk lulu to Saraghina to pick up breakfast and snacks for the weekend. We dont want to do anything but be lazy, watch tv, go to the park to eat good food. Summer could never happen better than this.

 

When my friend told me this is what makes you authentic. I thought a lot about it and conculded my thoughts with “How boring, this is so boring!” They say this is what makes you instragmable. But I don’t want to be that and I am honestly nothing but coincidence of my surrounding. I will never have one city, one home, one street. I will always adapt to new things and progress.

When yoga in every cornor, you don’t really need the pants. I found myself seeing this more and more. It happens in conversations where you see this is exactly how people validate themselves. It didn’t hit me until summer when I spent a month somewhere else and then I came back here to see it unfolding in front of my eyes like I was never here. So many people there trying so hard to live like someone in Williamsburg with the lack of a good workout plan and a barbar shop. And so many people here thinking they are the shit of all original, putting themselves in a lot of pressure or not even trying because they need the whole package for this to happen.

I just want to keep things happening. Whatever the day brings, I will take it all in and try to find my balance for my own happiness.

But I needed to find it with a great mix of vintage shopping and new american spots like Sunday in Brooklyn and Wythe Hotel. We shared delicious cheese and so much of the unspoken to the old times curated. Mirth, Dobbin, Break, I still didn’t find a coat I like.

The ludlow at day is not a brunch place, not a weekend favorite too. But in the middle of the week, I don’t mind taking my ipad to the Ludlow Hotel to write something. At the Ludlow street, I know for sure my yellow tight with checked burgundy skirt is going to be appreciated. It is cold outside too, I am still not ready to adapt. I just negotiated my alterations cost. He said for this 10 and this 15 even though their both the same dress. I end up paying 15 for both of them. I’m very specific with my favorite spots, I don’t like new places. I am at Frankie next, Extra Butter, then Assembly NY. I’ve got deep love for Assembly NY, their shoe collection is seasonally great. My thoughts are not coming together easily today, maybe I need a muse?

I should head back home and get ready to go to the gym. I am definitely not doing that. Now I see a new store, I got excited until I realized am too old to be Japanese trendy. I think I will eat something thai, mexican or japanese since am here.

It took me 4 apartments and a move to Bedstuy with tree lined street infront of beautiful brownstones to feel home. Where life is a mix of everything I enjoy and wanted and things I can’t control where I find myself very accepting toward. It feels very original, nothing hip but a cornor coffee shop.

For 4 years I’ve lived in minimal inspired apartments in warehouse renovated areas. Of course I found myself taking photos there, and of course people loved it. But it took me a lot of energy to make home a mix of everything I grew up with and it just never worked. I moved to my current apartment, and no matter what the object is, it fits perfectly. I’ve got my minimal pieces, middle eastern and african art, books everywhere, mid-centruy pieces and french style molding. It felt so natural and perfect. It reminded me of Jeddah and Cairo. The molding simply brought our favorite quiet escape, Paris to Brooklyn. All the browns around me, made it even easier for me to accept new colors and made me more relaxed not to have to fit to my apartment. Trust me when you take a mirror selfie in a grey and white apartmnet nothing looks good but a palette of black, blue and greys. Maybe yellow sometimes, I still wasn’t sure and would put it immediately back in a banker box.

In cities like SF and NY and am sure a lot more in the US, you trully live by the neighboorhood lifestyle. You do yoga more if it was in every cornor. Unlike everywhere else where culture overcome everything.

In Soho there is the most romantic interaction between an eye and a pair of shoes. I saw these patent leather red mary jane with a little pump on someone in Soho and I just know a quick research will get me what I want. I am not really a red shoe person as much of a lipstick but I was just in silk short with lace trim on all sides. We can’t talk intimate but we can talk about my vintage Carel find, a beautiful red and flat mary janes. God bless the internet.

5 years of america in weather appropriate mistakes and trends. Soon enough you will realize you must adjust to climate and you cant resist seeing it everyday and not doing it. This is why we should love NY, it teaches you lessons. 

It could be because I wear mostly Silver. I’ve always been a minimalist (simple) but never afraid to have fun with trends. They do feel relatable. But like always I go back to my plain black dress and whatever comfortable skirt I have. This summer am all for muted with colorful footwear, vintage silk, vintage prada heels and strappy sandals. Am even thinking a patterned and colorful chanel bag for this fall.

I hate it with people put a lot of pressure on silly things, enjoy life and try new things. It’s authentitc to be adventurous and happy.

I wanna be like the girls i see everywhere in leggings and sport crop tops. I wanna go pilates without forcing myself to do so. I hate strength training. And how everytime i have soul cycle, i must go Outdoor Voices just to buy a new pair of leggings or a bra to force myself to go the class with a fake smile.

According to a good friend, walking lulu twice a day is not enough. Even when i mentioned it’s a 40 to 60 min walk. And here i thought, this brownstone stairs situation can tone my legs effortlessly.

Last month we went to the Yucatán area. Mérida, Valladolid and Tulum. For all I know, I am so ready to live my spanish dream of Penelope Cruz and learn phrases to help me be mad at Anas in the most dramatic way, I am alrady a dramatic wife, simple but can be very fluent when am angry. I just need to add an extra flavor and spend more time in Mérida in a beautiful colonial maison. 

The first thing that comes to my argument to move out of the US is the cutlure of the cornor bakery. I  NEED MY FRESH BREAD. I just want an old big enough house for everything I love. And live my favorite memories with my grandma. I could write a book about the limited moments we had together taking a cab ride to downtown Cairo.

Moving to Bedstuy, we now have a general store with freshly baked bagguette from Saraghina delivered 8 am every day. It made me happy and forget my mission for while. There is nothing better than going to Saraghina bakery to pickup fresh pasta and cheese. I love making my own tomato sauce.

I just wanna wrap a silk scarf on my head and wear this tight top almost tube like with everything to walk my dog in my husband’s shorts and strappy heels. Too dramatic for my neighborhood maybe, but I am loving this draw of inspiration I get from the women in my family. Cant explain more, but every time I do it. It does feel like Aida or Najat.

Things been happening lately where I found myself asking my husband why the hell do I know this person or go to this place. Leaving time for the loved ones and having my food at places that feels old but comfortable.  

The law of average says we are the sum of the 5 closest people we spend our time with. Stay mindful.

You spend your first year in a city going everywhere must see, must eat and must do. The next year, you keep up with the recently opened. By the third year in a city like New York, it gets old. I find myself I just want the classics and whatever nearby. 

There is always the classics and a beautiful hotel with a lobby to go to after 5. I got tired when every new restaurant decided to be another something pink for instagram. After all, this is us in Paris loving a quiet August at Hotel Costes. 

 

It took me awhile to accept my situation and understand it was meant to happen this way and I should just enjoy it. My journey has always been smart but slow. For a few short years, I hustled my way for the sake of self acceptance and experience. I am being so polite to myself, i just want to proof my skills to every night time story and a mean businessman for a family.

Now my businesses has the nature of slow scheduling until we have solid ground to move faster. I have no other choice but to accept it. I should be grateful to afford the luxury of time. Actually it is not even luxury if getting myself a bag means using my husband’s credit card. I can’t accept my journey and I can’t be more aggressive. I fear life turning around to leave me dry and hopeless, it’s not like it’s ever been easy, i see things in documentaries. My friend told me once that we are sent what we can tolerate. I still compare my struggle to strangers i have no business with but their motivational quotes.

I can be the most ridiculous. A flirty women is my idol. She inspires my shy upbringing and left my mood. But a sad women is just sad. It dose not make me feel anything but annoyed. I need to inspire my laziness, I am in love after all even if my love is quiet. 

I always loved a women with ease in attitude. Normal, fun and confident. None of the curated life we see everywhere. She’s too cool for that. None of the cool crap I see everywhere, I am too old for that. 

How much I love the red sea. Every week in NY I find myself recalling the feelings I left there. Uh reminiscing is a bitch. Due to the unplessent logistical placement of each country around my favorte blue surface, the mediterranean feels just right. Laidback cities, full of culture and music I love. You can work hard without waisting time working hard to work hard. A backyard comes with privacy and a lot of help and delicious food. I am lazy and I hate to be judged.

Last spring my husband text me to check the news in the link and I was told New York is definitely home from that moment. Their startup got acquired which changed the game of me thinking New York is just a phase to finish school. I thought two years school, two years after and I’m done with this city. I never understood the obsession with New York and here I am living in Brooklyn in a brownstone that does feel like home. I decided to watch Sex and the City, I figured it might help. Oh how much I wish I did 5 years ago. It would have been easier to understand what’s going on around me. Understand the girls I’ve met through out the years and maybe love Manhatten a little more. And yes, I never watched Sex and the City. 

 

Best,

Samaher