Credit card

It took me awhile to accept my situation and understand it was meant to happen this way and I should just enjoy it. My journey has always been smart but slow. For a few short years, I hustled my way for the sake of self acceptance and experience. I am being so polite to myself, i just want to proof my skills to every night time story and a mean businessman for a family.

Now my businesses has the nature of slow scheduling until we have solid ground to move faster. I have no other choice but to accept it. I should be grateful to afford the luxury of time. Actually it is not even luxury if getting myself a bag means using my husband’s credit card. I can’t accept my journey and I can’t be more aggressive. I fear life turning around to leave me dry and hopeless, it’s not like it’s ever been easy, i see things in documentaries. My friend told me once that we are sent what we can tolerate. I still compare my struggle to strangers i have no business with but their motivational quotes.

Women

I can be the most ridiculous. A flirty women is my idol. She inspires my shy upbringing and left my mood. But a sad women is just sad. It dose not make me feel anything but annoyed. I need to inspire my laziness, I am in love after all even if my love is quiet. 

I always loved a women with ease in attitude. Normal, fun and confident. None of the curated life we see everywhere. She’s too cool for that. None of the cool crap I see everywhere, I am too old for that. In my 30’s trends started to look familiar, and I just want the classics. My favorite from my grandma. I could write a book about the limited moments we had together taking a cab ride to downtown cairo. 

Red Sea

How much I love the red sea. Every week in NY I find myself recalling the feelings I left there. Uh reminiscing is a bitch. Due to the unplessent logistical placement of each country around my favorte blue surface, the mediterranean feels just right. Laidback cities, full of culture and music I love. You can work hard without waisting time working hard to work hard. A backyard comes with privacy and a lot of help and delicious food. I am lazy and I hate to be judged.

Hello!

Last spring my husband text me to check the news in the link and I was told New York is definitely home from that moment. Their startup got acquired which changed the game of me thinking New York is just a phase to finish school. I thought two years school, two years after and I’m done with this city. I never understood the obsession with New York and here I am living in Brooklyn in a brownstone that does feel like home. I decided to watch Sex and the City, I figured it might help. Oh how much I wish I did 5 years ago. It would have been easier to understand what’s going on around me. Understand the girls I’ve met through out the years and maybe love Manhatten a little more. And yes, I never watched Sex and the City. 

 

Best,

Samaher